


A Quiet Evening

by OrmondSacker



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 11:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11782527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrmondSacker/pseuds/OrmondSacker
Summary: Poe just stares at him for a second, then starts laughing as he shakes his head. Feeling faint with relief Finn finds himself laughing too."We're a matched pair, aren't we?" Poe says between chuckles."Looks that way," Finn huffs as he struggles to get his own under control.Slowly their chuckles fade away and Finn finds himself staring at Poe as Poe looks at him, smile still lingering at the corner of his mouth and his eyes very intent on Finn."Can I kiss you?" Poe asks.Finn nods, finding all his words suddenly locked in his throat.





	A Quiet Evening

**Author's Note:**

> A great thanks goes to Finnderservesbetter for a quick beta read.

Finn stretches and shifts, trying to find a new comfortable position against Poe's thigh.

Poe is reclining on his bed, propped up against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him. Finn is sprawling diagonally across the bed, his head resting on Poe's left thigh.

Finn isn't sure how this habit started, of lounging together on Poe's bed when they are both off duty and reading, but he isn't complaining. It's nice and very comfortable, and Poe's thigh makes for a very good pillow. Not to mention that Poe's hand has this habit of slowly caressing Finn's shoulder and the back of his neck when he gets really engrossed in reading, which Finn finds more than nice.

Poe's other leg is resting over Finn's midriff, anchoring him to the bed. He doesn't usually enjoy being pinned down, but the weight of Poe's leg feels comforting to Finn. It makes him think about what it would be like if something else happened, if Poe say pinned him in another way? Which makes his mind wander on to what Poe's hand is doing and if it might, just maybe, someday would slide up from his neck, over his cheek and brush over his lips.

It probably isn't very likely to happen. 

Though Finn has sometimes caught Poe looking at him in a way Finn can only describe as interested so far the man hasn't said or done anything. Maybe it's a bit unfair of him to expect Poe to act first, but Finn is hesitant to make a move himself. Poe is one of his two closest friends and Rey is far away right now. Not that he doesn't have others, but these two are the dearest to him and he doesn't want to risk the warm, easy camaraderie that exists between him and Poe. Camaraderie that makes moments like the one right now possible.

"Sleepy?" Poe's voice cuts through Finn's musings and he blinks his eyes open, not till then aware that he had closed them.

"No, just... thinking," he replies looking up at Poe. He's giving him one of those warm smiles that always makes Finn's chest feel warm and fuzzy. Poe's hand is still rubbing small circles on Finn's shoulder.

"Care to share them?" Poe asks. "You looked very happy."

Finn can feel heat creep up the back of his neck.

"Erm, it's... a bit private."

His heart is suddenly racing a mile a minute and he's almost painfully aware of all the places his and Poe's bodies are touching. He shifts and sits up so that only Poe's right leg, now casually lying over Finn's thighs, are touching him, which is still almost too much.

"Sorry, didn't mean to push," Poe apologizes. "Just got curious about what could make you smile like that."

Finn considers brushing it off, to repeat that this is private and that he'd rather not discuss it. But will he ever get a better opening? Will there ever come a better time? Or just one just as good?

Still his mouth feels very dry and he swallows hard as he looks Poe squarely in the eyes.

"You," he says.

Poe blinks.

"You make me smile like that," Finn continues, just to make sure that Poe understands.

"Oh." A slash of red is blooming on each of Poe's cheeks. "I- I'm honored." He looks surprised and nonplussed, and suddenly Finn is wishing that he was anywhere but here. Or that he had just kept his mouth shut.

"Listen, it's not-" 

Poe cuts him off by slapping a hand over his mouth.

"Finn, give me a moment. I really hadn't expected that."

Finn gently removes Poe's hand. It feels warm and rough from use in his own.

"Why not?"

"Because I've been trying to work up the courage to tell you how I feel about you and now seems the perfect opportunity for it, but I'm still scared."

"Of what?"

"Of you telling me to take a hike."

"Why would I?"

"Just because I make you smile it doesn't have to mean anything. I don't want to presume."

Poe gives him a little lopsided smile, that looks very shy and slightly awkward. In a very backwards way Poe's uncertainty makes Finn feel a little braver about all of this.

"Okay. Would it help if I told you that it does and that I'm nervous too?" Finn offers.

"Of what?"

"You telling me to take a hike?"

Poe just stares at him for a second, then starts laughing as he shakes his head. Feeling faint with relief Finn finds himself laughing too.

"We're a matched pair, aren't we?" Poe says between chuckles.

"Looks that way," Finn huffs as he struggles to get his own under control.

Slowly their chuckles fade away and Finn finds himself staring at Poe as Poe looks at him, smile still lingering at the corner of his mouth and his eyes very intent on Finn.

"Can I kiss you?" Poe asks.

Finn nods, finding all his words suddenly locked in his throat.

Poe put a hand on Finn's shoulder, softly tugging at it, so Finn ends up kneeling on the bed, Poe right in front of him and suddenly feeling very, very close. Nerves skitter under Finn's skin, his breath coming short and shallow, and his heart is pounding so hard it feels like it's about to leap out of his chest.

Leaning forward and resting one hand on Finn's shoulder for balance, Poe gently presses his lips to Finn's.

The kiss is soft and welcoming, a sort of 'hello, how are you?'. It makes Finn's lips tingle.

His hands drifts to Poe's waist almost of their own volition while Finn's mind is still processing how soft and warm this kiss is and speculating on how to best ask for another once the first one is done, and pulls him closer so that he's straddling Finn's thighs. Their chests are pressed together and Finn can feel how Poe's heart is beating as fast as his own. He slides one hand up Poe's back, to cup the back of his neck.

He gently nibbles at Poe's bottom lip. Poe gasps and Finn takes it as an invitation to do it again. This time it earns him a soft 'yes' from Poe.

"Like that?" Finn asks, words muffled against Poe's lips.

"Yes," Poe answers, but sits back, using his hand on Finn's shoulder as leverage. 

Finn sits back on his heels and studies him. Poe's face is flushed and his pupils very dilated.

"Oh," Poe says.

"Oh? Is that a good oh? Bad oh?"

"Good, very good. Can we do that again?"

Well, that solved the problem about asking for a second kiss.

"Yes, we can."

Poe grins even wider.

"I just hope I left half the impression you just did," he says.

"You want to impress me? With kissing?"

"Hey nothing odd in wanting to impress a possible, future boyfriend."

"Possible future?"

"As I said, I don't want to presume."

"But you want that?"

Poe shifts nervously.

"Yes."

Something inside Finn's chest turns soft and warm in a new way to him. Licking his lips, he takes Poe's hands in his.

"What if I told you that... you can presume?"

"How much can I presume?"

There is no innuendo in Poe's tone, but still the words make Finn's blood turn hot under his skin and he bites his lip.

"That I would like to be kissed?"

"I think I'm willing to presume that much," Poe says with a grin. "What else?"

"That I would like you to touch me."

Poe shifts closer again and wraps his arms around Finn's shoulder's.

"Like this?"

When Finn nods Poe slowly slides his hands down Finn's back, until they rest just above his waistband, fingers suggestively skirting the edge of it.

"Like this too?"

Finn swallows hard and nods again. But suddenly butterflies are crashing into the walls of his stomach in that pleasant but also not quite pleasant way and he isn't sure if he wants to tell Poe to stop or not. On one hand he likes what Poe's hands are doing and wouldn't object to having them move further, on the other it feels almost too much too fast all of a sudden. Before he reaches a decision, Poe solves the whole thing by sliding his hands back up to rest of Finn's shoulders.

"So, touching and kissing," Poe says. "How about holding hands?"

Finn can hear that Poe is aiming for casual in the question, but there is a light in his eyes, hopeful and almost fragile. The thought of holding Poe's hand in his, walking in public, makes Finn feel giddy.

"Yeah," Finn answers. "Holding hands sounds good."

Poe's reply is a bright smile that makes Finn's chest burst with happiness.

"Come here," Poe says. "I want to kiss you again."

"I  _am_  right here," Finn grins.

"So you are."

Poe leans forward and kisses him again. 

This kiss too is gentle, but it also carries traces of a heat that travels down Finn's spine and pools in his abdomen. Pulling Poe flush against him, Finn kisses back with equal passion. 

Poe's lips slides away from Finn's and brushes across his jawbone, gently nudging at it. Eagerly Finn tips his head back and lets Poe explore his throat. Poe scatters small butterfly kisses down his neck, interspersed with tiny, nuzzling nips by his lips. Finn finds himself squirming in Poe's grip in no time, half from arousal, half from giggling. It's different, so different from other kisses he's had. They make him feel hot and turned on, but also so light he feels that he could fly away if Poe wasn't holding on to him.

When Poe hooks his fingers under the collar of Finn's shirt to push it aside, Finn grabs his hand to stop him. Poe looks questioningly up at him.

"I think it's my turn now," Finn says, his voice slightly husky to his own ears.

Poe nods and Finn leans forward to kiss him, but unlike Poe he doesn't move his kisses down his neck. Instead he kisses along Poe's jaw back to his ear, kissing and nibbling the shell of the ear and toys with the lobe with his tongue. Poe's hand is resting lightly on the back of Finn's neck, fingers idly caressing the skin. Poe's mouth is right next to Finn's ear and Finn can hear every little hitch and shiver in his breath.

Finn lets his lips slide just a little down Poe's throat so they rest above the pulse point at the top of his throat. It is racing so hard and fast, as hard and fast as Finn's own. He hesitates, unsure what to do next. He knows what would usually come next. He would push Poe back on the bed, or Poe him and they'd start undressing. But this isn't the usual, here, now, with the Resistance. They don't have to rush, to hurry in any way and there is no cause for hiding either.

It is exhilarating and terrifying at the same time and most of all it makes Finn uncertain where to move from here and how fast he should be going.

Poe's hand shifts to Finn's shoulder and gently pushes him back and solving his dilemma for the time being.

"That... was intense." Poe sends him a bright smile, but he looks a little dazed, the pupils in his eyes very dilated.

Finn shifts nervously.

Poe runs a hand gently over Finn's cheek.

"That is a good thing, in case you were wondering." He punctuates the words with a quick kiss.

When Poe sits back he takes Finn's hands in his and tangles their fingers together. It feels little odd to Finn to sit like this, the touch of their hands feeling far more intimate than the kisses they just shared.

"So, what happens now?" Finn asks.

"You mean right now, or long term?"

"Let's stick to tonight for now." Dealing with everything that lay beyond the next few hours feels too overwhelming all right now.

Poe nods.

"Once we've calmed down a bit I'd like to kiss you some more. Then in about an hour when dinner's ready I thought we'd go get something to eat. Or if you want to be private we could bring food back here?"

Poe falls silent and Finn realizes he's clearly expecting some sort of answer. But Finn isn't sure. On one hand, he doesn't want to hide, but though he knows there is nothing for him, for them, to fear the thought of publicly holding Poe's hand, kissing him, makes him feel jittery now as the reality of it all begins to settle in in earnest. He knows what he said just minutes before, but everything feels a lot more real now for some reason.

The idea of keeping what just happened, what else will happen, just between the two of them, is comforting and familiar. Which is one reason he doesn't want to stay on that path but still, a leap out into the open frightens him.

"I don't know," he mutters, looking down at their joined hands.

Poe gives his hands a squeeze, his thumbs rubbing small circles on the backs of Finn's hands.

"Give it some thought, it's not dinner yet."

"What about after we eat?" Finn asks, wanting to move away from the topic.

"Then, though I'd still want to kiss you some more, I suppose we'd better finish what we were doing  _before_  we started kissing. When that's done it's probably time for bed, so we'd get ready and I'd kiss you goodnight."

"Will we sleep together?" Finn asks.

"If you want to. I know I do, but I don't want to push you if you want to take it slower."

"I do." Finn swallows and looks up again, meeting Poe's eyes. "I want to." 

Poe gives him a tender smile.

"Good, we will then," Poe says and tugs gently at Finn's hands. "Come here."

Finn lets himself be pulled forward expecting another kiss, but instead Poe pulls him into a hug, his arms wrapping themselves tightly around Finn's shoulders. Finn hugs him back just as fiercely and buries his face at Poe's shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" Poe asks.

"Good. Just... a little overwhelmed."

Poe rubs a hand over his shoulder.

"Tell me what you need."

"Could we... maybe keep hugging for a little bit?"

"Sure. How about we hug lying down though? More comfortable that way."

"We can do that."

It takes a little while for them to get organized and comfortable again. They end up with Poe lying on his back, Finn plastered against his side, head propped up on Poe's shoulder. Poe's right arm is wrapped around Finn's shoulders, the other slowly wandering up and down Finn's back, drawing soothing patterns.

Finn closes his eyes and fights back the impulse that tells him that he should get up, that they could get caught by someone. He lets his hand curl around Poe's hip, anchoring himself in the solid feeling of bone, flesh and cloth beneath his palm. Slowly he starts to calm down, his mind no longer feeling jumpy and the tension under his skin fades away.

It is warm and comfortable to lie like this, but also unfamiliar. The knowledge that they can stay like this for as long as they want, that Poe would likely hold him like this all night if he asked –  _he could ask, later, when they're going to bed_  – makes Finn feel both giddy and oddly soft inside now that his worries are no longer so prominent. Poe's shoulder makes for a harder pillow than his thigh, but having his arms around him is definitely a plus and the slow, regular rise and fall of his chest is calming.

Finn shifts closer and hooks one leg over Poe's, so he's lying half way on top of him. Poe gives his shoulders a little squeeze in return and drops a kiss on top of Finn's head. Finn smiles and hums softly in reply feeling very warm and safe in that moment.

He doesn't pay too much attention to time passing after that, deliberately pushing away the thought of it, enjoying simply being and being held.

When Poe starts to shift restlessly under him he looks up.

"Too much?" he asks.

"Never," Poe replies with quiet passion. "But my stomach is trying to tell me it's dinner time."

"Yeah, we'd better go eat."

The thought of having to face other people, of walking into the mess with Poe's arm around his shoulder, or even holding his hand, brings Finn's nerves right back to the fore. It's illogical, he knows that it is, nothing at all will happen except perhaps some teasing, but that does nothing to quiet his pounding heart.

"Would you rather we brought something back here to eat?" Poe asks.

"No, it's okay," Finn mutters, pushing himself up to sit and rolls off the bed. 

Poe grabs Finn by the wrist, holding him back. After a second Finn sits down on the bed again.

"You're trembling," he observes.

Finn realizes that he is. Not large ones, but small, barely there, trembles – small enough that he had overlooked them – runs through him. 

He wants to pull loose, get up, tell Poe he's fine and go to the door, but suddenly the distance from the bed to the door feels too enormous, the world beyond too threatening and the words stick in his throat. His breath comes shallow and rapid, making him feel dizzy.

Poe's hand loosens around Finn's arm, only lightly touching the skin of the wrist.

"Finn, breathe. Breathe."

Finn closes his eyes and draws a breath all the way down into his belly before slowly exhaling. Then again and again, and again for a fourth time, before opening his eyes once more. Still nerves a skittering beneath his skin.

"Thanks."

Finn takes another deep breath before pulling away from Poe and standing up.

"Come on, let's go."

Poe slowly gets to his feet and stands next to Finn.

"Are you sure?" he asks. "We still could eat here?"

Finn considers, then shakes his head.

"No, I'm not sure. But we –  _I_  – am going to have to face the rest of the world, I can't hide in here forever and putting it off till tomorrow won't change a thing. So, I'm going to do it anyway."

Poe takes his hand and tangles their fingers together.

"I'll be right beside you all the way, I promise," he says, lifting Finn's hand and kissing the knuckles.

There are more in those words Finn knows, than just the promise to stay with him in the mess hall. It isn't an open 'I love you', Finn isn't sure if Poe is holding back because he isn't ready to say that yet or if he thinks Finn isn't ready to hear it and all that it entails, but Finn knows he's not quite ready to say it himself, the words are yet too big for him and weighs too much. Soon he hopes, but not right now.

But he is grateful for the words that Poe did just say and the implied promise in them, that what Poe wants is Finn and that he'll stick around for Finn to figure out what it is he wants.

Finn smiles and pulls Poe in for one last kiss before they leave. His nerves aren't really any better, but Poe's hand feels solid and real in his, reminding him of where and who he's with, and that no one here will hurt him for loving someone.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always deeply appreciated even though I suck at responding to them. I apologize for that.


End file.
